let go

Last night, I watched the latest episode of himym which has huge impact on me, on my current situation. Ted and robin finally figured things out between them. Ted said he loves robin even it's been 5 years, but sadly robin don't feel the same. She clearly still deeply in love with kevin. Robin asked ted if their agreement about marry each other if both of them haven't meet their beloved one until 40.

At first ted agreed but then he refuse the offer. He said, if she continue to give him that offer, he'd always think that there'll always be a chance for him to be with robin and that way he wouldn't see anyone who came to him because deep inside all he wanna do is wait until he finally get his chance to be with robin. So, everything settled down, ted and robin finally be able to let go of off each other and move on.

Every first step always been hard, but later on ted feel something different. It's like he finally can see people around him, he finally realise that there're so many things he hadn't able to see while he was waiting the chance that robin gave him. His eyes and heart finally wide open.

Then I asked myself, what about me? I clearly have something that hold me back and I do know what was that. The only thing I don't understand is that I don't have any chances even for a little. It's completely over and everything has done. But there's a part of me that want me to stay, and the other part want me to move on. I mean its getting so unhealthy and tiresome.

meh :/